The Expectant Father('S DAY) Disinformation Handbook!!!

If you have any desire to understand the intense level of energy that went into the creation of my book, THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK, then all you have to do is study the expression on my face as I bounce up and down on an exercise ball at 3:00 a.m. in a fruitless attempt to instill some much-needed sleep into my newly hatched daughter. 

I must have done something right since she's still around seventeen years later!

Yes, indeed, Happy Father's Day... to ME! If you want to perform a small favor for this particular father, why not buy a copy of THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK? In the pages of THE HANDBOOK, you will find out all about the high weirdness of Origami Babies, the dangers of in utero phone sex, Count Dracula's shocking attitudes regarding child raising, how to use your baby as an assassin, the risks of allowing your fetus in utero internet connection, the growing problem of terrorism in the womb, and the little known fact that Shakespeare created pregnancy, among many other esoteric secrets. THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK is available directly from Madness Heart Press and Amazon.com. (No infants were harmed in the making of this handbook.) 

Wait, I know what you're thinking! Is THE EXPECTANT FATHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK looming in our immediate future? Who the hell knows? Do any of us even have a future? While the rest of us are trying to figure out the answer to that vital question, why not distract yourself by diving into the pages of this extremely bizarre (and surprisingly useful) handbook, whether you're in or out of a family way?!?

By the way, if you want to hear me talking about the genesis of THE HANDBOOK at great length, check out my recent interviews on Steven Snider's THE FARM and Seriah Azkath's WHERE DID THE ROAD GO?

To listen to THE FARM (PART 1), click HERE!

To listen to THE FARM (PART 2), click HERE!

To listen to WHERE DID THE ROAD GO?, click HERE!

PRAISE FOR THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK:

"Robert Guffey’s The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook is weirder than parthenogenesis, weirder than the Republican Party, weirder than the fetishizing of pregnancy that suffuses our culture, weirder than all the back issues of Weird Tales combined. You will laugh, gasp, and scratch your head in pleasurable bemusement. I can’t recommend this tongue-in-cheek tour de force too highly."

—JAMES MORROW, award-winning author of Only Begotten Daughter and Behold the Ape


"Here it is. THE perfect baby-shower/gender reveal party gift. Forget all the binkies, blankies, cute little onesies, and diaper-service subscriptions. Those are so overdone and boring. Want to make a REAL impact? This book. This book right here [...].

"Well-written, lively, engaging, easy to read, and tons of fun. If I were a truly evil imp with plenty of money, I’d sneak copies into every OB/GYN office and ‘Parenting and Family’ bookstore section in the country."

—CHRISTINE MORGAN, award-winning author of Spermjackers from Hell and Lakehouse Infernal