Friday, November 28, 2025

The Cryptoscatology Black Friday Double-Crypto Special!!!!


To commemorate the passing of yet another stupid ass holiday, I'm opening up the legendary Guffey Vault for a limited time only. I'm selling copies of both my first book (CRYPTOSCATOLOGY: CONSPIRACY THEORY AS ART FORM) and my 2024 collection, CRYPTOPOLIS & OTHER STORIES! *CHOKE GASP!* Signed copies of CRYPTOSCATOLOGY are $25.00 and signed copies of CRYPTOPOLIS are $25.00... or you can get both for only $40.00!!! Shipping and handling is included in the price (if you're located in the United States, that is). I'll write whatever you want in the book, within unreason. Offer applies while supplies last! If you're interested, feel free to contact me via my email address: cryptoscatology@gmail.com. MAHALO!!!



PRAISE FOR CRYPTOSCATOLOGY:

 
"Whether you believe or disbelieve in deep and hidden conspiracies, Robert Guffey's droll yet thought-provoking book Cryptoscatology should be required reading. From the valid to the invalid, from the provable to the possible, from real life to art, Guffey shuffles the most prominent names and topics in conspiracyland. They are all laid on the vivisection table with often surprising results. Don't miss this ride." 
 
--JIM MARRS, author of The New York Times Best Sellers Crossfire, Rule by Secrecy, and The Trillion-Dollar Conspiracy

"A sane and penetrating analysis into the murky realm of contemporary theory. Guffey is sure to inform and entertain you with Cryptoscatology."
 
--ALAN CANTWELL, M.D., author of AIDS & the Doctors of Death
 
 "Finally, a scholarly book takes conspiracy theory seriously. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. For fans of science fiction, conspiracy theory or a good spy story (a true story, at that), Cryptoscatology is required reading."
 
 --TESSA B. DICK, author of Philip K. Dick: Remembering Firebright
 
 "Robert Guffey's book, Cryptoscatology: Conspiracy Theory As Art Form, takes the reader on a fast-moving ride through some of the prominent conspiracy theories of our time. It also hopefully gives birth to a new way of thinking about all arcane knowledge and speculation. The author asserts that myth is at least as important as fact, if we would only realize it, especially since we are inventing the myths that sustain our world view, our strength, and our endless curiosity about what lies beyond the cartoon called Reality."

--JON RAPPOPORT, author of The Secret Behind Secret Societies
 
 

PRAISE FOR CRYPTOPOLIS & OTHER STORIES: 


"The stories in Cryptopolis feel like the bloody, star-filled lovechildren of Burroughs and Delany, with each tale ostensibly one part of a greater whole; abstract limbs and organs tethered together by strained flesh. Cryptopolis will take readers on a hallucinogenic journey through worlds fractured by time and place—slipping through liminal dimensions with seamless abandon to unveil unsettling illusions and heartbreaking realities—and totally worth the trip."

--Philip Fracassi, author of Boys in the Valley

 

"If you're tired of the same wines and you're curious about the vintage only just whispered about, have a deep draught of Robert Guffey's CryptopolisYou don't have to descend with Fortunato to the deepest cellars to find this bottle of Amontillado. Here it is! If Poe collaborated with Robert Anton Wilson...if Borges had a lovechild with Lovecraft, which was subsequently adopted by Kafka...you might get Cryptopolis. I think too that Clark Ashton Smith would admire this collection. Written with the obsessive precision of a mysterious staircase descending into the abyss, Cryptopolis will take you to strange epiphanies..."  
 
--John Shirley, author of The Feverish Stars
 
"Once upon a time, weird and speculative fiction had an underground full of stories that were not written as calling cards or as film treatments or as extended internet memes. Guffey's tales resist genre gentrification; they move into your mind to turn it into a punk house squat!" 

--Nick Mamatas, author of Move Under Ground and The Second Shooter
 
 "In Cryptopolis & Other Stories, Guffey's free-ranging intellect meshes wonderfully with his command of the language."
 
--John Oakes, author of The Fast
 
"Guffey brings together 25 horror shorts that swing wildly between terrifying mindtrips and gritty realism. Throughout, Guffey’s blunt prose lends a sense of normalcy to the fantastic as his cast of losers from all walks of life face the cruelties of their existence—sexual violence, drugs, war, parenthood, and poverty [...]. Though not for the faint of heart, this bizarre and over-the-top collection is sure to thrill devotees of weird fiction."

--Publishers Weekly   

"Cryptopolis may end up being a gateway drug into Robert Guffey’s work. I don’t use that term spuriously. So many of Guffey’s stories in Cryptopolis have a hard-bitten edge and gritty feel to them that I could see him crafting a metatext about an author whose books are physically addictive. Across the collection’s twenty-five stories and vignettes, Guffey displays a range of interests and foci with such depth and heart that I wouldn’t be surprised if he became one of my favorite modern writers [...].

"Affect, the experience of emotional response, seems to be at issue in every one of Guffey’s offerings. From the opening eponymous story (which is the only outright Lovecraftian story in the collection), with its resonances of love as a torturous paralytic, to the last, 'Esthra, Shadows, Glass, Silence,' a parable of alternate lives and lost possibilities, the emotional response drawn from the reader appears to be the crux of every piece. These stories are engines designed to make the reader feel."

--Géza A. G. Reilly, Dead Reckonings

 "If you want a walk on the wild side, and I mean WILD, Robert Guffey’s fiction delivers that and more. It’s as if you’re lying in the grass in a park on a calm summer afternoon, you look up, and a creature you can’t even describe is looking at you. He starts talking in an even voice. But his words are chopping reality to pieces, and when he puts the pieces back together again, and you see the new picture, you feel a need to call the police. But then you realize you’re in a new place where the last people you want to talk to are the cops. What do you do now? You’re on your own. You better have strong resources. Very strong." 

 --Jon Rappoport, author of The Secret Behind Secret Societies

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