Thursday, May 14, 2026

Ballads of a Barstool Prophet



HEADS-UP! My friend and former creative writing student, Chris Mardiroussian, has just released his latest book, BALLADS OF A BARSTOOL PROPHET, a collection of 47 poems overflowing with absurd degradation and degrading absurdity in equal measures. Here's the publisher's ballyhoo:

Poetry usually wants to sit you down, look into your soul, and have a Very Serious Talk. This collection would rather buy you a drink, tell you a terrible joke, and leave before the tab comes.

BALLADS OF A BARSTOOL PROPHET explores the gritty realities of the human spirit and is a glimpse into the lives of lost souls, seeking solace in the hazy glow of dimly lit taverns, navigating the chaotic dance between alcohol, loneliness, and the human spirit. These poems are quick, clever, and just self-aware enough to know they’re being ridiculous, but are a brutal reminder that life's beauty lies not in perfection, but in the cracks and imperfections that make us who we are. Drawing inspiration from the comedic timing of Hunter S. Thompson, the sharp dialogue of David Mamet, and Charles Bukowski's unmatched ability to strip away pretense and reveal the raw essence of humanity, BALLADS OF A BARSTOOL PROPHET captures the essence of life's beauty amid its most profound struggles. 

These poems are a toast to the flawed, the broken, and the real, leaving readers with an indelible mark on their hearts and a deeper understanding of the human experience. 

This book is for people who love words, but don’t want them to be boring.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that this book sports a striking wraparound cover by Nadim Mahi-Bahi, a supernaturally talented artist who is collaborating with me on a forthcoming comic book entitled THE UPSIDE DOWN MAGICIAN. (For a sneak preview of THE UPSIDE DOWN MAGICIAN, click HERE.) And you can check out Nadim's website by clicking right HERE.

Buy a copy of BALLADS OF A BARSTOOL PROPHET today!!! 

FYI: Chris is also launching a bold new publishing venture called FOUL MOUTH PRESS. As Dr. Steve Brule would say, "Check it out!"

  

Monday, May 11, 2026

I Return to Steven Snider's THE FARM to Discuss... HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD! (Part Two)


In the latest episode of THE FARM PODCAST, Steven Snider and I conclude our discussion of my Rondo Award-nominated book,
HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD: AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE CINEMA OF OCCULTED TABOOS

Topics include Walter Bowart, OPERATION MIND CONTROL, James Shelby Downard, the origin of the word "cryptocracy," THE MORNING OF THE MAGICIANS, Albert Einstein, Jack Parsons, L. Ron Hubbard, Marjorie Cameron, TWIN PEAKS, David Lynch, Mark Frost, J. Michael Straczynski, BABYLON 5, STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE, predictive programming, Vince Gilligan, Cordwainer Smith, Larry Cohen, Bela Lugosi, Surrealism, German Expressionism, Universal horror films, Edgar Ulmer, Val Lewton, Budd Boetticher, the role fiction plays in addressing taboos, how hidden truths can be found in conspiracy theories and cult films, etc.

If you want to listen to the entire episode, click HERE.

If you want to visit Steven Snider's VISUP blog, click HERE.


PRAISE FOR HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD: 
 
"In HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD, Robert Guffey takes his readers for a trip behind the magic curtain to reveal the true Wizards at work - those behind the lenses, making magic and moving the secret levers. To this end, Guffey plays the role of Toto, tearing the curtain aside to reveal these flesh and bone Wizards of the military-industrial-entertainment complex, and the occult role they play in influencing our inner dreams and everyday realities."

--Adam Gorightly,  
author of SAUCERS, SPOOKS, AND KOOKS
and THE SHADOW OVER SANTA SUSANA: BLACK MAGIC, MIND CONTROL, AND THE MANSON FAMILY MYTHOS


"Hollywood has truly haunted the world. So too should this book, one of the best ever written on American cinema."

--Gary D. Rhodes,
author of THE PERILS OF MOVIEGOING IN AMERICA and TOD BROWNING'S DRACULA, 
from his Foreword
 
"A heady, occult-driven exploration of cinema!"
 
--Larry Wade Carrell,
director of GIRL NEXT, THE QUANTUM DEVIL, and THE DARKSIDE OF SOCIETY
 
 "This is a fascinating, mind-expanding trip into some seriously dark corners."
 
--CINEMA RETRO 
 
 "[An] enjoyable trip from a tour guide likely (and proudly) on at least one agency watchlist."
 
--FLICK ATTACK 
 
"Highest recommendation!"
 
--Stephen R. Bissette,
writer/artist of TYRANT, CRYPTID CINEMA, and SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING

Friday, May 8, 2026

John Fante, One of L.A.'s Greatest Writers


April 8th would have been the 117th birthday of John Fante, one of L.A.'s greatest writers. May 8th, exactly one month later, marks the 43rd anniversary of his death. Despite the fact that my wife and I have been visiting the grave of Bela Lugosi for almost twenty years now, I just recently discovered that Fante is buried only a short distance away from Lugosi in the very same Catholic cemetery. Though all of Fante's books are well worth reading, I particularly recommend ASK THE DUST, WEST OF ROME, THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE GRAPE, THE WINE OF YOUTH, DREAMS FROM BUNKER HILL, and WAIT UNTIL SPRING, BANDINI 

A few years back, I was proud to contribute an essay to Stephen Cooper and Clorinda Donato's excellent anthology, JOHN FANTE'S ASK THE DUST: A JOINING OF VOICES AND VIEWS (published by Fordham University Press). My contribution, "Watch Out or You'll End up in My Novel: The Lost World of Ask the Dust," explores the influence of ASK THE DUST on Noah Van Sciver's FANTE BUKOWSKI graphic novels (as well as many other obscure and unexpected tributaries that branch out from Fante's classic 1939 novel). The collection also includes illuminating pieces by Charles Bukowski, Fante biographer Stephen Cooper, documentarian Jan Louter, filmmaker Robert Towne, John Fante himself, and many other notable writers. 

Here are some photographs my family and I took at Fante's grave (located in Culver City's Holy Cross Cemetery & Mortuary)... 

 


 

If you're inspired to learn more about Fante after reading his novels, short stories, and correspondence, I highly recommend checking out Stephen Cooper's 2000 comprehensive biography, FULL OF LIFE...

Monday, May 4, 2026

I Return to Steven Snider's THE FARM to Discuss... HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD!


The new episode of Steven Snider's THE FARM PODCAST has arrived! In the first installment of this epic two-part interview, I return to THE FARM to discuss my latest book, HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD: AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE CINEMA OF OCCULTED TABOOS.


Topics include 
Gnostic cinema, DARK CITY, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, Dr. Jose Delgado, films inspired by Delgado's unconstitutional behavior modification research, the US Navy, Dr. Ewen Cameron, the CIA, Curt Siodmak, CREATURE WITH THE ATOM BRAIN, 1950s science fiction films, Roky Erickson, The 13th Floor Elevators, The Brotherhood of Eternal Love, PROGRAMMED TO KILL, John Carpenter, THEY LIVE, WINTER KILLS, JFK, Oliver Stone, Malcolm X, the psychological trauma of the JFK assassination on the American public and how it reverberates in pop culture, and the Freemasons!

If you want to listen to the entire episode, click HERE!

If you want to visit Steven Snider's VISUP blog, click HERE!



 PRAISE FOR HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD: 
 
"In HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD, Robert Guffey takes his readers for a trip behind the magic curtain to reveal the true Wizards at work - those behind the lenses, making magic and moving the secret levers. To this end, Guffey plays the role of Toto, tearing the curtain aside to reveal these flesh and bone Wizards of the military-industrial-entertainment complex, and the occult role they play in influencing our inner dreams and everyday realities."

--Adam Gorightly,  
author of SAUCERS, SPOOKS, AND KOOKS
and THE SHADOW OVER SANTA SUSANA: BLACK MAGIC, MIND CONTROL, AND THE MANSON FAMILY MYTHOS


"Hollywood has truly haunted the world. So too should this book, one of the best ever written on American cinema."

--Gary D. Rhodes,
author of THE PERILS OF MOVIEGOING IN AMERICA and TOD BROWNING'S DRACULA, 
from his Foreword
 
"A heady, occult-driven exploration of cinema!"
 
--Larry Wade Carrell,
director of GIRL NEXT, THE QUANTUM DEVIL, and THE DARKSIDE OF SOCIETY
 
 "This is a fascinating, mind-expanding trip into some seriously dark corners."
 
--CINEMA RETRO 
 
 "[An] enjoyable trip from a tour guide likely (and proudly) on at least one agency watchlist."
 
--FLICK ATTACK 
 
"Highest recommendation!"
 
--Stephen R. Bissette,
writer/artist of TYRANT, CRYPTID CINEMA, and SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING

Saturday, May 2, 2026

Humor Virus Proof #1,669!

In November of 2017, I published a speculative novel entitled UNTIL THE LAST DOG DIES, which was about a young stand-up comedian who must adapt as best he can to an apocalyptic virus that destroys only the humor centers of the brain. Halfway through the book, the comedian contracts the illness himself. As evidenced by recent events, that novel seems to grow more and more prescient with each passing day. Case in point...

1) What follows is a brief excerpt from David Moye's  4-30-26 HUFFPOST article entitled "Comedian Rob Schneider Demands ABC Cancel Jimmy Kimmel For Making Jokes": 

It’s not a laughing matter: MAGA-supporting comedian Rob Schneider wants ABC to fire Jimmy Kimmel for making jokes.

The former “SNL” cast member apparently didn’t like it when Kimmel joked last week that Melania Trump has “a glow like an expectant widow,” a joke that was made well before Saturday’s shooting at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

On Monday, two days after the shooting, the first lady demanded Kimmel’s ouster. 

Schneider, a former “SNL” cast member, agreed with the first lady and took to X on Wednesday to post an open and very long letter to Walt Disney Company CEO Josh D’Amaro.

In his diatribe, Schneider called for Kimmel to be canned for “a pattern of reckless, dehumanizing rhetoric that disrespects human life and contributes to the toxic climate of hatred and violence threatening our nation.”

Schneider also claimed “keeping Mr. Kimmel on your network” represents “a serious and dangerous mistake that reflects poorly on Disney’s values and leadership.”

After comparing the Melania joke with Kimmel’s previous edgy jokes about Charlie Kirk after his death, the man who gave the world “Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo” declared, “This is not comedy.”

To read the entire article, click HERE

2) From THE GUARDIAN'S 5-1-26 article entitled "Jimmy Kimmel: ‘Trump Has Three Wars Going on Right Now – Iranians, Ukrainians and Comedians’":

Jimmy Kimmel woke up on Thursday morning to, somehow, yet another call from the president for his show to be cancelled. As Donald Trump posted on Truth Social: “When is ABC Fake News Network firing seriously unfunny Jimmy Kimmel, who incompetently presides over one of the Lowest Rated shows on Television? People are angry. It better be soon!!! President DJT”

“Or what?” Kimmel laughed on Thursday evening. “If incompetently presiding over not just one of but the lowest rating in history is the reason I should be fired, we should both be out of a job. Because you’re not doing too good, either.

“Isn’t there a war dragging on?” he continued. “Imagine if FDR had taken to the airwaves during the Battle of the Bulge to complain about a little orphan Annie comic strip that he didn’t like.

“Trump has three wars going on right now – Iranians, Ukrainians and comedians” [...].

And on a more serious note: “All of this is meant to distract from the prices he didn’t lower on day one, or the Trump-Epstein files that his attorney general refuses to release, and to distract us from the illegal war he started and can’t figure out how to get out of.”

Would you like to see more "Humor Virus" Proofs? If so, you can find them in this CRYPTOPOST and this CRYPTOPOST and this CRYPTOPOST and this CRYPTOPOST and this CRYPTOPOST!

PRAISE FOR

UNTIL THE LAST DOG DIES

“By turns mystical and ashcan-real, insanely funny and grimly ghastly, Guffey’s novel cuts a zigzag trail through conventionality as it follows Elliot Greeley in his half-serious, half jesting quest for some deeper meaning to existence. If you build your life on laughs, what happens when the laughs disappear? Kissing cousin to Max Barry’s novel Lexicon, about killer language, and to Ben Marcus’s The Flame Alphabet, about language killed, Guffey’s standup debut is standout speculative fiction.”

--Paul DiFilippo, Locus 

“Taps into the cultural zeitgeist…. A nihilistic satire that takes the idea that death is easy and comedy is hard to a whole new level.”

--Kirkus Reviews 

“Guffey’s debut takes full advantage of an absurd, unexpected premise, delivering one of the strangest dystopian novels in a year filled with them.”

--B&N Sci-Fi & Fantasy Blog 

“Guffey’s sardonic, cleverly written comedic debut relies heavily on absurd synchronicity, bold characterization, and heavy irony to make its points about the apocalyptic nature of American humorlessness.”

--Publishers Weekly 

“Not only a novel unique to this [political] moment, but one that is to comedy what Catch-22 was to war. One of the great books of the year.”

--Adam-Troy Castro, Sci Fi Magazine 

“A playful amalgam of Andy Kaufman and Philip K. Dick by way of Shaun of the Dead.”

--Damien Lincoln Ober, author of Doctor Benjamin Franklin's Dream America 

“This satirical tale explores the role of comedy in maintaining a healthy democracy…. A clever concept.”

--Kirkus Reviews

Friday, May 1, 2026

The World's Foremost Mystical Toponymy Experts Urge You to Vote for... HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD!


According to the crack team of mystical toponymy engineers now overseeing the completion of the multi-acre Cryptoscatology Campus currently under construction here in Southern California, the interior of this ever-evolving structure is missing a key element. The one object in the universe capable of balancing the feng shui energies of the sprawling compound--these skilled craftsmen insist--is a sculpture of the gentleman whose face you see depicted in the photograph below. Yes, indeed, only a bust of the late thespian, Rondo Hatton, is capable of tying all the many Cryptoscatology rooms together in a satisfyingly baroque manner. Thus, my team of engineers requests that you vote for 
my newest book, HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD, in the 24th Annual Rondo Awards

THANKFULLY, YOU CAN VOTE FOR HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD (IN THE "BOOK OF THE YEAR" NONFICTION CATEGORY) IN 3 EASY STEPS...

1. Copy-and-paste the ballot below into an e-mail.
 
2. Choose HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD in the BOOK OF THE YEAR (NON-FICTION) category.

 
3. Then email to David Colton (
taraco@aol.com) by midnight on May 1, 2026.

Don’t forget to include your name in the e-mail!

--START COPYING--

11) BOOK OF THE YEAR (non-fiction):
 HOLLYWOOD HAUNTS THE WORLD: An Investigation into the Cinema of Occulted Taboos, by Robert Guffey (Headpress, softcover, 368 pages, $29.95). From UFOs to JFK, how filmmakers have handled conspiracies and the supernatural.

--END COPYING--

YOU HAVE UNTIL MIDNIGHT TONIGHT!!! 

THE GHOST OF RONDO HATTON THANKS YOU, MY FRIENDS!!! 

Thursday, April 30, 2026

It's May Day Once Again!!!

OR Books is running a May Day sale on their website from May 1 to 3! Almost everything will be 50% off (excluding titles on pre-order), so here's a prime opportunity to snatch up copies of both CHAMELEO and OPERATION MINDFUCK. Click HERE for more info!!!

 
UNTIL THEN... HAPPY WALPURGIS NIGHT!