It's Almost Time, Kids...

HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN!!!

A Completely Unnecessary Public Service Announcement from Cryptoscatology.com...

This shit tastes exactly as bad as it looks!

Adam Sayne on THE AP STRANGE SHOW

I recommend checking out the latest episode of THE AP STRANGE SHOW in which Matthew M. K. Hopewell interviews CONSPIRINORMAL host Adam Sayne in a freewheeling conversation Hopewell describes as "a paranormal jam session, with lighthearted chat about some of the more insane conspiracy theories, personalities within ufology and ghost hunting, and the ways these narratives overlap and inform beliefs more broadly. From Flat Earth and Tartaria to organic robotoids, the Nephilim, and Bigfoot, [we] run the gamut of fringe topics--and end with a look at demonology, and the long shadow cast by Ed and Lorraine Warren over paranormal investigation." To listen to the entire interview, click HERE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK!!!

One year ago today, Madness Heart Press unleashed my eleventh book, THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK, which has recently made the final ballot of the Wonderland Book Awards alongside a gaggle of weird and wonderful books such as NYMPHO SHARK FUCK FRENZY by Susan Snyder & Christine Morgan and APESHIP by Carlton Mellick III (if you want to check out the complete final ballot, click HERE). Extra special thanks to John Baltisberger and the whole crew over at Madness Heart Press for helping bring this baby to term!  

Please join me in celebrating this joyous anniversary by purchasing multiple copies of THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK for that special expectant mother/father/grandmother/grandfather/godmother/godfather/aunt/uncle/niece/nephew/priest/general all-around freakazoid in your life in desperate need of positive, life-affirming disinformation. Take this opportunity to support your favorite local/non-local/non-AI-dependent author! Every sale counts, my friends! To order a copy of THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK, visit Amazon by clicking HERE. Of course, if you'd prefer not to prop up a soulless multinational corporation, you can also buy the book directly from Madness Heart Press by clicking HERE! (By the way, if you like Gavriel Quiroga's striking cover art for THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK as much as I do, you should go out of your way to check out his website right HERE.) 

PRAISE FOR THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK:

"Robert Guffey’s The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook is weirder than parthenogenesis, weirder than the Republican Party, weirder than the fetishizing of pregnancy that suffuses our culture, weirder than all the back issues of Weird Tales combined. You will laugh, gasp, and scratch your head in pleasurable bemusement. I can’t recommend this tongue-in-cheek tour de force too highly."

—James Morrow, award-winning author of Only Begotten Daughter and Behold the Ape


"Here it is. THE perfect baby-shower/gender reveal party gift. Forget all the binkies, blankies, cute little onesies, and diaper-service subscriptions. Those are so overdone and boring. Want to make a REAL impact? This book. This book right here [...].

"Well-written, lively, engaging, easy to read, and tons of fun. If I were a truly evil imp with plenty of money, I’d sneak copies into every OB/GYN office and ‘Parenting and Family’ bookstore section in the country."

—Christine Morgan, award-winning author of Spermjackers from Hell and Lakehouse Infernal 

 

"We've got plenty of people who think that they know best--better even than a given pregnant woman. We don't need more of them, but we could damn well use more examples of them turned into buffoons just like we get to see in the Handbook [...]. [The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook] is often weird, often funny, frightfully well written, and it gives us that unique satisfaction that only fiction can provide by putting the bastards into a magic circle of their own disinformation and locking them away. Isn't it sweet to think that they'd stay there."

 —Géza A. G. Reilly, Dead Reckonings 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOLLY WOODLAWN!

Today would have been the 79th birthday of the late, great Holly Woodlawn! Take this opportunity to check out Paul Morrissey's TRASH and WOMEN IN REVOLT (both of which feature Woodlawn) or read her 1991 memoir, A LOW LIFE IN HIGH HEELS. You can read her 12-7-15 GUARDIAN obituary right HERE.

Holly Woodlawn Interview:

These Lodge Meetings Get Weirder and Weirder Every Year...

 

Bill Elder's Journal: Two-Part Satanism Special (1988)

In the wake of my recent CryptoPosts regarding the perennial fascination with Satanism among the far-right (click HERE and HERE), a correspondent sent me a link to Bill Elder's infamous two-part news report about slavering hordes of Satanists running rampant in Louisiana in the late 1980s. This one has it all: cattle mutilations, Walpurgisnacht sacrifices, homicidal trucks, cult initiations, college professors, voodoo rituals, gris-gris ladies, blood-filled goblets, black masses, hypnotized virgins, Catholic exorcists, sexual orgies, 50,000 corpses, overbearing sheriffs, razor-wielding dogs, Satanic baby snatchers, gun-toting journalists, 10,000 souls trapped in Hell, daycare centers overrun with organized child molesters, Lay's Crunch Tators, Delchamps Super Stores, DuraSoft Colors Contact Lenses, toad killers, Health and Human Resources, abandoned sofas, British automobiles, Northshore Psychiatric Hospitals, Gerber Baby Dolls, locked coffins, human time bombs, Fulbright scholarships, stonewalled detectives, LensCrafters Profiles, doctors, bankers, lawyers, psychiatrists, and Jacob Amato Jr.! Needless to say, this is the perfect time of the season to revisit the late Bill Elder's intrepid investigations into secret Louisiana devil cults...

BILL ELDER'S JOURNAL (1988)