MICHAEL MYERS VS. THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK!

Beware! When one encounters this peculiar fellow on the streets of Long Beach on any evening other than Halloween (as I did last night), one needs to be on high alert...

 

On a surprisingly related note, my Wonderland Award-nominated book, THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK (Madness Heart Press, 2024), contains valuable information about the secret origins of the gentleman depicted in the photographs above. Yes, indeed, THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK is a veritable treasure trove of useful advice regarding methods of survival when going toe-to-toe with a wide variety of potential threats against today's expectant mothers including deathless serial killers, foreign-born terrorists, alien invaders, and dubious diseases of obscure etiology. Here's an excerpt from THE HANDBOOK to serve as a brief example...

 

If I’ve Suffered Schizophrenic Episodes in the Past, How Likely Is It That My Son or Daughter Will Suffer From Similar Episodes as He or She Grows Older?

            Schizophrenics tend to pass along their traits to their offspring. Some schizophrenics suffer minor breakdowns in their early twenties, after which the severity of the episodes wane as the individual grows older. Other cases are far more severe. Some children have been known to experience paranoid delusions while in the womb. Some of them, for example, imagine that evil vacuum cleaners are attempting to destroy them while others insist that people are talking about them behind their back and constantly monitoring them from some other dimension. Other fetuses insist they possess supernatural powers and precognitive abilities.

            If these delusions leak over into the outside world after birth, it can cause trouble for infants and adolescents alike. However, in some cases these children really do have unique abilities that could benefit humanity if only these special children were nurtured properly.

            Early in October of 1963, in the town of Haddonfield, Illinois, a six-year-old Caucasian male named Michael Myers began ranting to his parents and neighbors about a plot to assassinate President John F. Kennedy which (he insisted) was to occur in Dallas, Texas on November 22^nd. He tried to warn his teachers as well, but they ignored him and told him he was acting silly. Myers even called the local newspapers and TV stations, but they accused him of being nothing more than a crazy, troublemaking kid. Frustrated that he couldn’t get his message out, plagued by horrible dreams of an imminent bloodbath in Dealey Plaza, young Michael Myers picked up a butcher knife on the night of October 31^st, 1963 and slashed his older sister to death in order to gain access to the media and spread his message on the nightly news, thus (he believed) saving the life of the President. Alas, this scheme didn’t work and Myers was sent to an insane asylum called Smith’s Grove Sanitarium where he was put under the care of Dr. Samuel Loomis. Dr. Loomis concluded that Myers was a danger to himself and others after learning about Myers’s intense belief in government conspiracy theories. Later, it was revealed by Freedom of Information Act documents uncovered by British political researcher David Icke that Dr. Loomis was an MK-Ultra[1] psychiatrist in the employ of the Central Intelligence Agency. In order to prevent Myers from revealing the details of any other upcoming domestic wetwork operations, Dr. Loomis was ordered by his superiors to keep Myers incarcerated indefinitely.

            Despite Dr. Loomis’s efforts, Myers escaped the asylum on October 31^st, 1978, in order to warn the world about the imminent assassination of John Lennon. By this point, however, Dr. Loomis’s MK-Ultra experiments had completely warped his brain, leading Myers to the belief that he should carve his precognitive message into the bodies of nubile young females. Dr. Loomis was given a firm command from his superiors in the CIA to “terminate with extreme prejudice.” Myers was seemingly killed by Dr. Loomis on the very same night of his escape, but only after he had succeeded in butchering an entire hospital staff.

            John Lennon died on December 8^th, 1980.

            So if you’re schizophrenic, we suggest not having kids.

---

[1] MK-Ultra was the code name for a Top Secret CIA program begun in 1950 to research the possibilities of mind control. Guinea pigs for this operational program included prisoners, psychiatric patients and children with special needs as revealed by Jon Rappoport’s 1995 book US Government Mind Control Experiments on Children.

PRAISE FOR THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK:

"Robert Guffey’s The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook is weirder than parthenogenesis, weirder than the Republican Party, weirder than the fetishizing of pregnancy that suffuses our culture, weirder than all the back issues of Weird Tales combined. You will laugh, gasp, and scratch your head in pleasurable bemusement. I can’t recommend this tongue-in-cheek tour de force too highly."

—James Morrow, award-winning author of Only Begotten Daughter and Behold the Ape


"Here it is. THE perfect baby-shower/gender reveal party gift. Forget all the binkies, blankies, cute little onesies, and diaper-service subscriptions. Those are so overdone and boring. Want to make a REAL impact? This book. This book right here [...].

"Well-written, lively, engaging, easy to read, and tons of fun. If I were a truly evil imp with plenty of money, I’d sneak copies into every OB/GYN office and ‘Parenting and Family’ bookstore section in the country."

—Christine Morgan, award-winning author of Spermjackers from Hell and Lakehouse Infernal 

 

"We've got plenty of people who think that they know best--better even than a given pregnant woman. We don't need more of them, but we could damn well use more examples of them turned into buffoons just like we get to see in the Handbook [...]. [The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook] is often weird, often funny, frightfully well written, and it gives us that unique satisfaction that only fiction can provide by putting the bastards into a magic circle of their own disinformation and locking them away. Isn't it sweet to think that they'd stay there."

 —Géza A. G. Reilly, Dead Reckonings 

THE BOB BAKER MARIONETTE THEATER

If you find yourself anywhere near Los Angeles within the next few weeks, I highly recommend checking out the legendary BOB BAKER MARIONETTE THEATER'S annual Hallowe'en Spooktacular! This revue features over one hundred hand-crafted puppets, including Count Dracula, Vampira, the Frankenstein Monster, the Grumpy Pumpkin, a singing black cat, swarms of witches and ghosts, and a bizarre dreamscape populated with Venusian Flying Saucers and Robots from Outer Space! 

THE BOB BAKER MARIONETTE THEATER could very well be the ultimate Southern California experience as well as Thomas Ligotti's greatest nightmare, and one certainly can't make that claim about just any old theater in L.A. To order tickets for Hallowe'en Spooktacular, which ends on the 9th of November, click HERE!!!

"Freemasons from Outer Space" (REDUX)

Exactly one year ago today, NEW DAWN MAGAZINE (SPECIAL ISSUE Vol. 18, No. 5) published my article, "Freemasons from Outer Space," which examines the connections between hermetic symbolism and alleged extraterrestrial encounters. The response to this article was so positive that the editors decided to make it available online. You can now read the entire article at the NEW DAWN website by clicking right HERE!

MILITARY TIMES: "The Deployments Appear Authoritarian and Threaten to Drive a Wedge Between the Military and American Citizens"

From Carla Babb's 9-30-25 MILITARY TIMES article entitled "Trump Suggests Using US Cities as ‘Training Grounds’ for Military": 

President Donald Trump told a gathering of military leaders Tuesday they should use American cities as “training grounds” to fight against what he called a “war from within.”

“We should use some of these dangerous cities as training grounds for our military, National Guard, but military,” Trump told an audience filled with top generals and admirals in Quantico, Virginia.

He told the commanders that defending the homeland was the military’s “most important priority” and suggested the leaders in attendance could be tasked with assisting federal law enforcement interventions against an “invasion from within” Democratic-led cities, such as Chicago and New York City.

The White House has already directed the deployment of National Guard troops across Washington, D.C., after declaring a public safety emergency [...].

Some current and former defense officials have raised concerns to Military Times that the deployments appear authoritarian and threaten to drive a wedge between the military and American citizens.

“It will no longer be that our military is part of us. It’ll be, ‘It’s those guys in uniform, those armed thugs,’” Retired Maj. Gen. Randy Manner, who served as vice chief of the National Guard Bureau, told Military Times earlier this month...

To read the entire article, click HERE. 

The Living Constitution

On the night of September 27, 2025, the Pasadena Scottish Rite presented an illuminating live performance of a stage play entitled The Living Constitution. Yes, indeed, as madness reigned in Washington, D.C. like never before, the Freemasons reenacted the drafting and signing of the Constitution in period costume. A purposeful act of counter-magic, perhaps? One certainly hopes so...

Hunter S. Thompson's Death Is Being Reviewed

From Benjamin Lee's 10-1-25 GUARDIAN article entitled "Hunter S. Thompson’s Death To Be Reviewed More Than 20 Years Later":

The death of Hunter S Thompson is set to be reviewed, more than 20 years after it was ruled a suicide.

The journalist and author was believed to have killed himself on 20 February 2005 at the age of 67, and while there isn’t any new evidence to suggest otherwise, his widow, Anita Thompson, has requested that the Colorado bureau of investigation conduct a review. Thompson died at his home in Woody Creek, Colorado.

“We understand the profound impact Hunter S Thompson had on this community and beyond,” said the sheriff, Michael Buglione, in a press release. “By bringing in an outside agency for a fresh look, we hope to provide a definitive and transparent review that may offer peace of mind to his family and the public.”

To read Lee's entire article, click HERE. 

Meanwhile, it might be worthwhile to take a moment and remind ourselves of the wise words of the late, great Gonzo journalist...

"The autumn months are never a calm time in America. Back to Work, Back to Football Practice, etc.... Autumn is a very Traditional period, a time of strong Rituals and the celebrating of strange annual holidays like Halloween and Satanism and the fateful Harvest Moon, which can have ominous implications for some people. 

"Autumn is always a time of Fear and Greed and Hoarding for the winter coming on. Debt collectors are active on old people and fleece the weak and helpless. They want to lay in enough cash to weather the known horrors of January and February. There is always a rash of kidnapping and abductions of schoolchildren in the football months. Preteens of both sexes are traditionally seized and grabbed off the streets by gangs of organized perverts who traditionally give them as Christmas gifts to each other to be personal sex slaves and playthings. 

"Most of these things are obviously Wrong and Evil and Ugly — but at least they are Traditional. They will happen. Your driveway will ice over, your furnace will blow up, and you will be rammed in traffic by an uninsured driver in a stolen car. 

"But what the hell? That's why we have Insurance, eh? And the Inevitability of these nightmares is what makes them so reassuring. Life will go on, for good or ill. But some things are forever, right? The structure may be a little Crooked, but the foundations are still strong and unshakable. 

"Ho ho. Think again, buster. Look around you. There is an eerie sense of Panic in the air, a silent Fear and uncertainty that comes with once-reliable faiths and truths and solid Institutions that are no longer safe to believe in.... There is a Presidential Election, right on schedule, but somehow there is no President. A new Congress is elected, like always, but somehow there is no real Congress at all — not as we knew it, anyway, and whatever passes for Congress will be as helpless and weak as whoever has to pass for the 'New President.'" 

--Hunter S. Thompson, Hey Rube, 11-20-00

 

Welcome to Halloween Month!!!

Now that we're officially into Spooky Season once again, you're no doubt searching for something appropriately weird and macabre to read as we hurtle our way toward All Hallows' Eve. Why not try my Rondo Award-nominated novel, BELA LUGOSI'S DEAD? 

The unabridged Audible Audiobook of BELA LUGOSI'S DEAD is also available! It's brilliantly read by the talented SAMUEL E. HOKE. Hoke was so dedicated to nailing the audio version that he contacted me before he began narrating the novel to make sure the accent of a particular character was exactly correct. He also went out of his way to research some of the films and documentaries about the real people and events upon which the novel is based. If you're interested, you can listen to a sample of the audiobook right HERE!

PRAISE FOR BELA LUGOSI'S DEAD:

“Blending intertextual rampage through the horror-movie canon with engrossing noir mystery and a backdrop of Hollywood esoterica, Robert Guffey serves up an intoxicating pulp cocktail that will leave you wanting more. A crepuscular treasure from a fascinating author.”

--ALAN MOORE, author of V FOR VENDETTA and WATCHMEN

“In Robert Guffey's latest and greatest novel, dreams of old movies and nightmares of classic horror rack into sharp focus through the lens of a brave film historian, one determined to squint clearly at fleeting grains of film through the shifting sands of time. Never has the truth of Hollywood been so well revealed through fiction. As a result, BELA LUGOSI'S DEAD delightfully and definitively proves that Bela Lugosi isn't dead.” 

--GARY D. RHODES, author of LUGOSI and TOD BROWNING'S DRACULA

"[H]orror fans will delight in how Guffey cleverly immerses movie monsters in the real world. Film buffs and monster enthusiasts will relish the supernatural characters brought to life in this atmospheric celebration of monster mayhem." 

--PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

"The sensation [of reading BELA LUGOSI'S DEAD] is like being led deep underground while your flashlight grows dimmer and dimmer, until you’re left in total darkness. That’s when the lights of a subterranean crypt flash on to reveal that you’re not where you expected to be, and where you are is far worse than you could have imagined. The result is an ending that left me chilled and took me a few days to fully process. As shocking as it was, everything was set up from the beginning. I know, I went back and checked, and have to give Guffey credit for pulling off a literary sleight of hand that caught me by surprise. I won’t spoil it with more, except to say that like the frog in water that’s warmed so slowly it doesn’t realize it’s coming to a lethal boil, Guffey’s readers face an equally stunning conclusion." 

--TERENCE TAYLOR, NIGHTMARE MAGAZINE

"BELA LUGOSI'S DEAD is a remarkably authentic, hypnotizing interpretation of all the glitz and pure talent behind Lugosi’s fame, as well as the hubris that steered his downfall. Guffey depicts how Lugosi’s Dracula transformed horror from a genre of make-believe to one that spreads the notion that monsters lurk among us."

--HALEY NEWLIN, CEMETERY DANCE