Announcing... CryptoScat Press!

I'm proud to announce the launch of my own publishing imprint, CryptoScat Press! The first volume released under the esteemed CryptoScat Press banner is a brand new edition of my Rondo Award-nominated novel, DEAD MONKEY RUM, which has been praised by the likes of writer/magician Alan Moore, filmmaker Irek Dobrowolski, painter Robert Williams, graphic novelist Jim Woodring, film scholar Gary D. Rhodes, and cryptozoologist Loren Coleman! The ripple effects of this novel's initial publication back in 2023 have been pleasantly unexpected. For example, I was proud to discover recently that DEAD MONKEY RUM has been taught in English classes at the university level. Equally encouraging were the positive reviews for the novel featured in such diverse publications as FORTEAN TIMES and EXOTICA MODERNE, both of which I read on a regular basis. Cryptoscatology correspondents sometimes sent me photos of the book found in the wild (see below)... 

 

Alan Moore's enthusiastic response to this modest epic was heartening, to say the least. And DEAD MONKEY RUM'S nomination for a Rondo Award in the category of "Best Classic Monster Fiction" alongside the likes of such luminaries as Tim Lucas and Craig Russell represented the Rondo-Hatton-sized cherry on top of the rum cake. Alas, regardless of this attention, the novel has been unavailable for the past year or so due to mysterious circumstances beyond my control. 

 

Despite the sinister and conspiratorial efforts of the half-human Yetinsyny to keep this novel out of your hands, the terrible truth about the Sons of the Yeti refuses to be suppressed! To prevent the imminent destruction of the human race, you must buy a copy of this new edition of DEAD MONKEY RUM... today!!!

A mixture of urban fantasy and Los Angeles noir, DEAD MONKEY RUM revolves around a stolen Tiki idol that contains the ashes of visionary artist Stanislaw Szukalski. Our heroes, an alcoholic monkey named Robert Mclintlock and a beautiful bartender named Stephanie Waterfall, must locate the missing statue in the wilds of Los Angeles before a tribe of pissed-off Yetis can get their massive, dirty paws on it. Because the obsidian idol possesses magical properties, the cryptozoological beasts intend to use it to kickstart the destruction of the entire human race.

DEAD MONKEY RUM is an alcohol-fueled voyage through the heart of Los Angeles. This tumultuous odyssey amidst the Tiki bars, illicit casinos, exclusive hotels, trains, buses, and hidden tunnels and grottoes that lay beneath the City of Angels propels our hero, Robert McLintock (who just so happens to be a wiseacre simian conman from a small island called Koshima located off the coast of Japan), from his comfort zone in Orange County, into the violent byways of Hollywood, and far beyond Southern California to the Rano Rarako volcanic crater on the remotest island in the world, Rana Nui, also known as Easter Island, where our heroes ultimately engage in a final, fierce, knockout battle with an army of homicidal Abominable Snowmen for the control of Planet Earth.

Here's your first glimpse at the proof copy of DEAD MONKEY RUM, which arrived here at the highly fortified Cryptoscatology Compound only a couple of days ago. Please take a good long look at this fabulous Tiki-centric cover created by artist extraordinaire, Joseph Dunn:

 

PRAISE FOR DEAD MONKEY RUM:

"A remarkable rush of entertainment and thrills."

--Alan Moore (V for Vendetta and Watchmen) 

 

"Robert Guffey's fantastic novel, DEAD MONKEY RUM, will at least bring your brain out of a coma, if not get your imagination off the couch. This is a thinly masked tribute/adventure to the late Stanislaw Szukalski and his boundless imagination. This book is a mental gymnasium."

-- Robert Williams (Visual Addiction, Hysteria in Remission, and Through Prehensile Eyes)

 

"A fantastically rich and entertaining piece of work with an original sharp edge."

 -- Jim Woodring (writer/artist of Weathercraft, The Frank Book, and One Beautiful Spring Day)

 

"Stanislaw Szukalski would love DEAD MONKEY RUM. This novel is addictive like a heavy drug. Make space in your calendar to read it all."

-- Irek Dobrowolski (director of the Netflix documentary, Struggle: The Life and Lost Art of Szukalski)

 

 "Yetis, Tiki Gods, Cryptozoology, and rum-filled adventure! Sign me up and tell me when the ship sails! I'm recommending this Robert Guffey novel to all my friends, family, and foes to take their minds completely off whatever they are thinking about. Wonderful."

-- Loren Coleman (Mysterious America, The Field Guide to Lake Monsters and Sea Serpents, The Field Guide to Bigfoot, Curious Encounters, and 40 other books - Director of the International Cryptozoology Museum)

"The wild ride of wild rides... this may be Guffey's best novel, which is saying a lot. The humor is as strange as it is dark as it is priceless."

-- Gary D. Rhodes (The Perils of Moviegoing in America, Tod Browning's Dracula, and Weirdumentary)

 
"DEAD MONKEY RUM succeeds at being a pursuit thriller, with suspense and tension as the monkey and Stephanie evade their cryptid enemies, and comedy as the two exchange jabs at each other. It is cinematically fast. DEAD MONKEY RUM should be adapted to a [...] Ralph Bakshiesque animated film where both the zaniness of the narrative and the latent satire would really flourish."

-- Exotica Moderne

 

"One of the weirdest romps you'll ever read."

-- Fortean Times

 

Coincidentally, it turns out that this is an auspicious time for the relaunch of this particular novel, as DEAD MONKEY RUM has been spotlighted in the latest issue of MEN'S ADVENTURE QUARTERLY (Issue No. 14) published by Robert "Bob" Deis. Entitled "Popsquatch!: A Crash-course on Where the Pop Cultural Bigfoot Has Gone in the 21st Century," Stephen R. Bissette's incisive article explores the most important cryptozoological fiction released in our current century (yes, including the Zermatism-inspired DEAD MONKEY RUM). I highly recommend this issue, which is overflowing with fascinating, Bigfoot-themed articles by such writers as Loren Coleman, Keith Roysdon, MAQ Co-Editor Bill Cunningham, the aforementioned Steve Bissette, and the late Ivan T. Sanderson!

Rest assured, future volumes in the CryptoScat Press series will be announced very soon!