The Muppets on Flight 11

To commemorate Barack Obama's final Independence Day while serving as President of the United States, I present to you an important missive I recently mailed to the White House....

President Obama

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Washington, D.C.

Dear President Obama:

It's been awhile since I last wrote to you, so I thought it was about time I sent you a brief update.  Everything's just swell here in Los Angeles.  My pitch meeting is tomorrow at 11:00 A.M. at Jim Henson Studios over on 1416 North La Brea Avenue, not far from Grauman's Chinese Theatre and the El Capitan.  It's a charming little lot filled with bungalows that resemble an antiquated alpine village.  There's a giant, tuxedoed Kermit the Frog standing on top of the main gate, forever tipping his top hat to the passersby.  It's all quite charming. 

 

Tomorrow I'm meeting with the Executive Vice President of the studio to propose an idea for the next Muppet movie.  Here's the title (I think you and your kids will love it):  The Muppets on Flight 11. 

Fade in:  On the morning of September 11, 2001, the Muppets climb aboard American Airlines Flight 11 because they're heading to Los Angeles for an important gig at the Hollywood Bowl.  The whole gang is there.  They're all happy and singing.  It seems like the beginning of another bright and beautiful morning.  Suddenly… chaos ensues!  Five Muslim terrorists hijack the plane and take over the cockpit.  The Muppets, of course, come to the rescue.  Fozzie Bear drops Gonzo into a cannon, lights the fuse, and sends the masochistic Muppet hurtling into the solar plexus of one of the terrorist-fiends.  A second Arab whips out a box cutter and threatens Kermit the Frog.  Miss Piggy, understandably pissed off, screams, "Hiiiiiiiiii-yah!" and slams a Prada high heeled shoe right into the terrorist's nuts.  The box cutter goes flying out of the iniquitous towelhead's fist and crashes into a window with such tremendous force that massive cracks form in the plexiglass.  The window breaks and the cabin begins to depressurize.  Beaker is sucked out of the arms of his beloved mentor, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and gets stuck in the open window, inadvertently staving off the depressurization.  We see a close-up of Beeker's head sticking out the window, the force of the wind causing the antron fleece skin on his face to pull back from his soft teeth, his drawbridge mouth opening wide, his crazy eyes bulging out of their sockets as he screams, "Mee-mee-meeeeeeee!"

         

Several musical numbers will punctuate this feature-length film, which amounts to a two-hour-long fight scene so perfectly orchestrated that it's comparable to a ballet.  You'll be pleased to learn that Samuel Jackson and Liam Neeson are also passengers on this flight.  At one point Neeson erupts from his seat, dropping a martini onto the plush carpet in First Class, and yells, "Release the Kraken!"  Giant, stop-motion, Ray-Harryhausen-manufactured tentacles emerge from the clouds, wrap around the plane, and try to tear it to shreds until Dr. Honeydew shoots the mythological beast with an experimental laser beam that reduces the tentacles to smoking stumps.  What's left of the tentacles retreats into the clouds and the flight continues.

         

Now we cut back to the interior of Flight 11:  Having combined their considerable strengths, the Muppets have succeeded in turning the box cutters back on three of their assailants, leaving a bloody, Arabic mess in the aisle of the plane.  We see the five members of the Muppet house band (i.e., Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem) burst into the cockpit and proceed to engage in a rousing bout of fisticuffs with the two godless heathens who are now piloting the airliner.  As the ruthless al-Qaeda acolytes do their best to slice the throats of Dr. Teeth, Janice, Floyd Pepper and Zoot, Animal is able to leap into the pilot's seat and get his furry orange paws on the controls.  "AN-I-MAL… AN-I-MAL!" screams the primitive beast, now over-stimulated with adrenaline, slamming his hairy fists into the array of blinking lights laid out before him on the control panel.  Just as the other members of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem succeed in subduing the terrorists, Animal releases a bloodcurdling shriek ("AN-I-MAL… AN-I-MAL!") and aims the plane directly into the North Tower of the World Trade Center, thus destroying all the passengers on board, including almost every Muppet in existence.  

Are you still with me, Mr. President?  Flash forward to September 14:  We begin with an aerial view of the blackened, skeletal rubble that was once the most magnificent skyscraper in the world.  We hear the sounds of President George W. Bush delivering to the firefighters of New York an inspirational, stirring speech through a bullhorn.  The President is commemorating the bravery of all the victims who were lost on that dark day.  Suddenly, a raspy voice rings out from the crowd:  "I can't HEAR you!"  The camera closes in on The President.  At first he looks confused, then grins and replies, "Ah, but I can hear you!  In fact, the rest of the world hears you!  And the terrorists who knocked these buildings down… will hear all of us soon!"  Rising above the cheers can be heard the phlegmatic laughter of two senior citizens; the camera swings around to reveal Statler and Waldorf, the pair of irate old men who often jeered their fellow Muppets during the live broadcasts of The Muppet Show, sitting on a nearby lamppost as they hurl vicious invectives at the President.  (Note:  Statler and Waldorf were the only Muppets who survived the destruction of Flight 11 because they ended up getting packed in a piece of luggage that was accidentally rerouted to Boston's Logan Airport.)  Statler:  "Eh?  What's that?  The terrorists who knocked these buildings down?  You jackball!  Don't you know that your own cabinet engineered the hijacking?  Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney knew about the plot months ago and refused to do anything about it in order to kickstart a decade-long war in the Middle East that would be lucrative to American weapons manufacturers!"  Waldorf:  "Wha—?  Are you sayin' the President of the United States is a puppet?"  Statler:  "Now hold on there, my friend!  Let's not give the poor fellow more credit than he deserves!"  Both Muppets laugh in tandem at this comment, but their hearty cackles are cut off abruptly by the sound of gunfire.  Metal-piercing bullets blow white stuffing out of the backs of Statler and Waldorf's octogenarian heads, thus silencing the colorful critiques of Statler and Waldorf forever.  Dubya's eagle-eyed secret service agents have picked off both hecklers with quick and clean kill shots—not unlike the ones that will eliminate Osama bin Laden from the planet eleven years hence.  Dubya continues his rousing speech, not missing a beat, the bullhorn seeming to grow louder and louder until all that's audible is a promise of righteous vengeance against those who have wronged the United States followed by an unintelligible roar from the teeming masses gathered at Ground Zero.

 

Of course, the key to this plot is the simple but beautiful fact that the presence of the Muppets does not change the outcome of this drama whatsoever.  We think, at first, that the Muppets are going to save the day… but no.  The tragedy turns out the same exact way—whether the Muppets are there or not.  The only difference is that we can now add thirty-eight of America's most beloved entertainers to the necrology, resulting in a final casualty list of 3,034.

Well, I better go to sleep now.  I'm sure you have a lot to do tomorrow as well.  I'll let you know how the meeting goes as soon as possible.  I can't wait to see the awed expression on the EVP's face when I pitch this billion-dollar-idea to him tomorrow.  Wish me luck, old friend!  Until next time, I remain…

Faithfully yours,

Robert W. Guffey

           

Real-time Behavior Monitoring

From Andrew Dalton's 6-9-16 Engadget post entitled "U.S. Intelligence Wants Real-time Behavior Monitoring Software":

"A new initiative from the U.S. Office of the Director of National Intelligence aims to create an intelligent surveillance system that can analyze live video and spot suspicious behavior in real time. According to Defense One, the research project is called Deep Intermodal Video Analytics (a.k.a. DIVA) and it will be a joint effort between academics, the private sector and ODNI's Intelligence Advanced Research Projects Agency.

"In an announcement, IARPA officials laid out the project's goals:  'The DIVA program will produce a common framework and software prototype for activity detective, person/object detection and recognition across a multicamera network,' IARPA officials wrote.  'The impact will be the development of tools for forensic analysis, as well as real-time alerting for user-defined threat scenarios.'  In other words:  the system should be able to identify suspicious behavior in real-time."

To read Dalton's entire post, click HERE.

The Terrorist Watch List

What follows is a brief excerpt from Kim Zetter's 6-17-16 Wired article entitled "How Does the FBI Watch List Work?  And Could It Have Prevented Orlando?":

"OF ALL THE details investigators have uncovered about Orlando terrorist Omar Mateen, perhaps the most infuriating is the fact that he spent 10 months on a government watch list, yet had no trouble buying an assault rifle and a handgun.

"Authorities placed Mateen on a watch list in May 2013 after coworkers at the Florida courthouse where he was a security guard told authorities he boasted of connections to al Qaeda and other terrorists organizations. He remained on the list for 10 months, and FBI Director James Comey told reporters this week that during that time the agency placed Mateen under surveillance and had confidential sources meet with him.

"But the feds removed Mateen from the list in March 2014, after concluding that he had no significant links to terrorism beyond attending the same mosque as an American suicide bomber who died in Syria. 'We don’t keep people under investigation indefinitely,' Comey said, adding that he doesn’t see anything that his agents should have done differently.

"Comey didn’t identify the list Mateen was on, but an unnamed official told the Daily Beast that he was in two databases, the Terrorist Identities Datamart Environment database and the Terrorist Screening Database, more commonly called the terrorist watch list.

"Here’s a look at what the lists are and how someone gets their name on one."

To read Zetter's entire article, click HERE.

CHAMELEO FEATURED IN THE EDGE

The latest edition of The Edge Magazine features an extensive article about my work, focusing primarily on Chameleo.  Out of all the articles and reviews written about Chameleo during the past year, this one boasts the best title by far.  To read Emily Rasmussen's "Meet the Ph.D. of Secret Shit," just click HERE.

The Resurrection of HUAC

Here we go, kids....

What follow are the first two paragraphs of Gregory Krieg's 6-14-16 CNN.com article entitled "Newt Gingrich Wants New House Un-American Activities Committee":

"Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich is calling for the creation of a new House Committee on Un-American Activities, invoking the infamous 'Red Scare'-era congressional body as a blueprint for weeding out American ISIS adherents and sympathizers.

"'We originally created the House Un-American Activities Committee to go after Nazis,' he said during an appearance on Fox and Friends this week. 'We passed several laws in 1938 and 1939 to go after Nazis and we made it illegal to help the Nazis. We're going to presently have to go take the similar steps here.'"

 

HUAC, of course, is best known to history as an authoritarian hit squad that used the United States House of Representatives as a convenient cover to stalk and harass its political enemies.  Anyone whose views were in any way anti-fascist were summarily "taken care of," either through character assassination or literal assassination.  In other words, Gingrich couldn't have phrased his goals more plainly.  Listen to his words again:  "We originally created the House Un-American Activities Committee to go after Nazis [...].  We're going to presently have to go take the similar steps here."  In other words, Gingrich wishes to create a legally sanctioned organization whose ostensible purpose is to go after "bad guys," but eventually targets innocent people whose views are not aligned with those of Newt Gingrich and Friends.   

 

Simply put:  Anyone who thinks the official resurrection of HUAC would result in the arrest of a single potential terrorist is not conversant with the history of the United States from 1938 to this very moment.

To read Krieg's entire article, click HERE.

More on the Orlando Massacre: A Second Perpetrator on Scene?

As with so many of these mass shootings, early eyewitness reports often indicate that either a second or third perpetrator is on scene helping the "lone nut" pull off the crime.  If you go back and listen to my 6-5-16 interview on Adam Sayne's Conspiranormal podcast (fast forward to approximately 1:54:00 to hear my precise comments), I very clearly predict that similar eyewitness reports will emerge during the "next" mass shooting.  Judging by the following report regarding the Orlando massacre, my prediction was spot-on.  An eyewitness has been recorded describing the presence of a second perpetrator on scene who tried to prevent the victims from fleeing the Pulse nightclub while the shooting was underway.  Here are the eyewitness's exact words:  "There was a guy there that was trying to hold the door closed so that we didn't exit."  It's clear from the context of the call that this "guy" holding the door closed was not the shooter himself.  Click HERE to listen to the complete eyewitness report.    

Also, I highly recommend checking out Jon Rappoport's latest post about the tragedy in Orlando.  Read Rappoport's  "Orlando Shooter:  Deeper Hidden Ties to the FBI?" by clicking right HERE.

The Orlando Massacre, Gangstalking, and Mass (Non-)Surveillance

Here are the first five paragraphs of Meghan Keneally's 6-12-16 ABCNews.com article entitled "Orlando Shooter Legally Bought Guns Despite Previous Flags by FBI":

"Orlando nightclub shooter Omar Mateen legally purchased the guns he had on him today within the past week, even though he had been known to law enforcement for years, federal officials confirmed.

"Law enforcement sources told ABC News that he had a .223 caliber AR-type rifle and a Glock handgun on him at the time of the shooting early this morning, which the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives says he bought legally. 

"News of the legal purchases comes as officials confirmed that Mateen had been interviewed three times by the FBI in the years leading up to the shooting because his name came up in connection to two different cases. Such information would not show up in a background check because both cases were closed. 

"Law enforcement sources confirmed that Mateen was on the FBI's radar but not necessarily on a watch list. But even appearing on the list wouldn't have necessarily prevented him from obtaining weapons. 

"'Being on the watch list is not in itself disqualifying, under law. The disqualifying elements of the investigation may be classified,' ABC News consultant and former acting Homeland Security undersecretary John Cohen said."

To read Keneally's entire article, click HERE.

What follows is a choice excerpt from my five-part article about gangstalking and twenty-first century mass surveillance entitled "A World of Stalking Fools" (originally posted on 1-24-16), a follow-up to my most recent book, Chameleo:  A Strange but True Story of Invisible Spies, Heroin Addiction, and Homeland Security (OR Books, 2015):


Not many people are aware that Gloria Naylor, the respected American author of such acclaimed novels as The Women of Brewster Place and Mama Day, has been a victim of gangstalking for almost twenty years.  In fact, she wrote an entire novel about her experiences entitled 1996 (the year her horrific experiences began).  Naylor’s nightmare very much reflects the outlandish torture undergone by my friend Dion in San Diego; however, the trigger for Naylor’s harassment is even more absurd that what Dion underwent.  She became a targeted individual over a trivial dispute with her next door neighbor, who just so happened to have a brother in the National Security Agency.  When the neighbor’s cat ended up poisoned, the neighbor blamed Naylor.  That’s when her experiences with gangstalking began.  To those of you who think this type of psychological warfare will never be waged against you, think again.  If you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you happen to pique some asshole’s wrath on the wrong day, kiss the illusory freedom you’ve always depended on farewell.  

And for those of you who think, “Gee whiz, maybe it’s a good thing that these spooks are watching all these scumbags 24/7.  That’s exactly what this country needs—good old-fashioned brute justice, not more red tape.”  Perhaps that attitude would be correct… except for the fact that the “scumbags” (i.e., terrorists, rapists, pedophiles, conmen, and criminals of all sorts) aren’t the ones being scrutinized.  For the most part, in fact, the ones in charge are the very same “scumbags” listed above.  As I said before, many of the perps involved in gangstalking are being blackmailed into performing these acts.  Those most open to blackmail are those who are already engaging in criminal behavior.  So now we have a situation in which criminals are being funded by the United States black budget to monitor innocent civilians being accused of terrorism by far rightwing spooks with over two thousands years of Christian righteousness fueling the religious war of purification waging quietly and covertly in their disordered brains. 

The alphabet soup of intelligence agencies whose budgets soared after 9/11 will look us straight in the face and claim that their efforts have made this country a better place.  Stop a moment and ask yourself a variation on a crucial question that President Ronald Reagan once asked the American people.  During the 1984 Presidential race, Reagan asked his constituents, “Are you better off now than you were four years ago?”  At the time the question was a resounding, “Yes!”  Ever since then, savvy politicians have used variations on the same question to win votes from the American people.  But the one question that no politician will ever ask the American people is as follows:  “Do you feel more free than you did four years ago?”

The reason this question will never be asked is because the answer would be the same for every single American across the political, sociological and racial spectrum.  The resounding answer would be “NO!”  Even the gangstalkers feel less free than they did in the past.  Many of these perps are speaking out about the positions in which they find themselves.  They’re monitored more closely than the people being stalked.  My friend Dion saw this firsthand when one of the gangstalkers actually broke character just long enough to try to pass along a piece of advice in a random public restroom in Minnesota before the perp’s handler barged into the bathroom and practically dragged the man out by the collar. 

If the purpose of this nationwide gangstalking program really was to curb mass violence and domestic terrorism, why have so many outrageous, violent scenarios increased since 9/11?  Consider this:  These operatives had enough money, time, and manpower to monitor my friend Dion—who was doing absolutely nothing to anybody that warranted such insane violations of the United States Constitution—but they were not at all aware of the suspicious activities—both online and off—of a blatantly disturbed teenager like Adam Lanza who enjoyed spending his downtime at the local firing range with his gun-loving mother?  They were not at all aware of the murderous schemes of Syed Rizwan Farook who posted her ghastly intentions on Facebook years before she picked up an arsenal of semi-automatic firearms and gunned down fourteen of her husband’s co-workers in a San Bernardino banquet room?  They were not aware of the catastrophic plans of Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the Boston Marathon bombers, despite the fact that the two terrorists ostensibly made no secret of their intentions among their network of college friends in Boston?  They were not aware of the reprehensible activities—both online and in the classroom—of organized pedophiles operating blatantly out of elementary schools and Catholic churches in Southern California in recent years?  And yet somehow these super sleuths had the wherewithal to monitor my friend’s phone calls to such a degree that they once went out of their way to cut off phone communication between us in order to prevent me sending him money via Western Union.  How can both these realities be true at the same time?  If they have enough time to monitor the most mundane activities of Dion Fuller or Gloria Naylor or the thousands of other targeted individuals in the United States, then they must have enough time to monitor the real threats as well—the Adam Lanzas, the Boston Marathon bombers, all the domestic terrorists who have plagued our headlines during the past few years.  But they don’t.  Instead they waste literally thousands of dollars gaslighting a male Caucasian heroin addict in San Diego and a female African-American novelist in South Carolina?  Why?  

Because they’re not interested in stopping crime. 

Because the true terrorists are the ones in charge of the gangstalking program.

 

The purpose of juxtaposing Meghan Keneally's ABCNews.com article with the above excerpt from my article "A World of Stalking Fools" should be obvious to anyone with eyes open enough to see.  As Hunter S. Thompson often liked to say, "Res Ipsa Loquitur."  

 

The point is self-evident.  It appears as if a definite pattern is forming here.  When it comes to managing mass shootings and domestic terrorism, Homeland Security seems to favor a systematic program of willful "Mass (Non-)Surveillance."  

 

To read the entirety of "A World of Stalking Fools," I suggest beginning with Part One (which you can find right HERE).

 

For more information on the Orlando shooting, I suggest reading Loren Coleman's Twilight Language blog, particularly his 6-12-16 post entitled "Media Shouts, 'America's Deadliest Mass Shooting' (Pulse Shooting:  12 June 2016)."