The Longest Birth of All Time!!!

My latest project, THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK, experienced a far longer gestation period than most of the books I've written. To give you a sense of how much time this book remained baking in the womb, consider the fact that the young woman in the photo below (i.e., my daughter) was the size of a walnut when I started writing it. Strangely, it was the publication of my most recent nonfiction book, OPERATION MINDFUCK: QANON & THE CULT OF DONALD TRUMP, that led to the eventual birth of what might very well be the weirdest satirical treatise about mass delusion, religious disinformation, and general dickery ever published in the English language. Christine Morgan, Splatterpunk Award-winning author of SPERMJACKERS FROM HELL, recommends this book. Pinocchio recommends this book. My daughter recommends this book. I recommend this book. And so does James Morrow, a Nebula and World Fantasy Award-winning novelist I consider to be among the greatest satirists of the past four decades. I was extremely proud to receive Morrow's enthusiastic endorsement for TEMDH. So what the hell're you waiting for? Order your copy TODAY!!!

"Robert Guffey’s The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook is weirder than parthenogenesis, weirder than the Republican Party, weirder than the fetishizing of pregnancy that suffuses our culture, weirder than all the back issues of Weird Tales combined. You will laugh, gasp, and scratch your head in pleasurable bemusement. I can’t recommend this tongue-in-cheek tour de force too highly."

—JAMES MORROW, award-winning author of Only Begotten Daughter and Behold the Ape


"Here it is. THE perfect baby-shower/gender reveal party gift. Forget all the binkies, blankies, cute little onesies, and diaper-service subscriptions. Those are so overdone and boring. Want to make a REAL impact? This book. This book right here [...].

"Well-written, lively, engaging, easy to read, and tons of fun. If I were a truly evil imp with plenty of money, I’d sneak copies into every OB/GYN office and ‘Parenting and Family’ bookstore section in the country."

—CHRISTINE MORGAN, award-winning author of Spermjackers from Hell and Lakehouse Infernal 

"Oh, I dearly loved your new book simply because it has the word 'mother' in the title. I-I dream about mothers all the time. I never had a real mother, you see... unless you count the Blue Fairy."

—PINOCCHIO, author of nothing at all (though he did tell me he has a great idea for a potentially bestselling book and said we could split the royalties if I write the entire manuscript for him)