Even Long Extinct Grandparents Love THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK!

Here's a photograph of Yours Truly and my dear grandfather taken shortly after the old codger finished reading my Wonderland Award-winning book, THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK! As you can see from the joyous expression on his roadmap of a face, even one's long dead grand pappy can be delighted by the unexpected explosions of pure wonder contained within THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK! To avail yourself of the same volatile energy seen here being absorbed by Grandpa's living corpse as his ancient brain soaks up the healing wisdom contained within THE HANDBOOK, you need simply buy a copy from the publisher (Madness Heart Press) and/or the evil multinational corporation that peddles such contraband online. Do you know anyone who needs to be restored to life instantly? If so, here's an opportunity of a lifetime... indeed, of several lifetimes! To purchase one or more copies of THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK (guaranteed to resurrect lost loved ones under certain astronomical conditions [details available upon request]), then simply click HERE... or HERE!!!

 

PRAISE FOR THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK:

"Robert Guffey’s The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook is weirder than parthenogenesis, weirder than the Republican Party, weirder than the fetishizing of pregnancy that suffuses our culture, weirder than all the back issues of Weird Tales combined. You will laugh, gasp, and scratch your head in pleasurable bemusement. I can’t recommend this tongue-in-cheek tour de force too highly."

—James Morrow, award-winning author of Only Begotten Daughter and Behold the Ape


"Here it is. THE perfect baby-shower/gender reveal party gift. Forget all the binkies, blankies, cute little onesies, and diaper-service subscriptions. Those are so overdone and boring. Want to make a REAL impact? This book. This book right here [...].

"Well-written, lively, engaging, easy to read, and tons of fun. If I were a truly evil imp with plenty of money, I’d sneak copies into every OB/GYN office and ‘Parenting and Family’ bookstore section in the country."

—Christine Morgan, award-winning author of Spermjackers from Hell and Lakehouse Infernal 

 

"We've got plenty of people who think that they know best--better even than a given pregnant woman. We don't need more of them, but we could damn well use more examples of them turned into buffoons just like we get to see in the Handbook [...]. [The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook] is often weird, often funny, frightfully well written, and it gives us that unique satisfaction that only fiction can provide by putting the bastards into a magic circle of their own disinformation and locking them away. Isn't it sweet to think that they'd stay there."

 —Géza A. G. Reilly, Dead Reckonings 

 

You can hear me talking about the secret origins of THE EXPECTANT MOTHER DISINFORMATION HANDBOOK on multiple podcasts and radio shows including Steven Snider's THE FARM, Matthew M. K. Hopewell's THE AP STRANGE SHOW, and Seriah Azkath's WHERE DID THE ROAD GO?